Just Do It.

This past Friday I went rock climbing for the first time since the free wall at Galyan's in high school. I remember how badly my legs would shake and my fingers would tremble and asked myself, "Why in the world would I spend money to be afraid?" Well this past Friday I did just that after an invitation from a colleague and figuring why not. I went with a few colleagues and some new people, all very encouraging of my first ascent and my terrible trepidation of rappelling to the point of literally climbing back down the wall.
But, by the end of the night, I had overcome the fear and was rappelling with no hesitation. And yes, the adrenaline actually did feel good! One of my colleagues continued to try climbing a 5.10 and kept falling. He then talked about how his colleague was quitting his job and they were going to go for it and start their business. "That's why I tried on the rock climbing wall. I didn't know if I'd make it, til I fell. And the same is true here [with the business]."
And he's 100% right. WIth this mentality and knowing the rope was going to catch me regardless, I let go with both hands and let myself fall to the ground and even landed with a smile on my face. And that is also what I'm doing here in Minnesota. Until I fall, which hasn't even come close to happening yet, I can't leave. Each day is one new rock hold. Some incredibly large, sturdy, and a great grip, others a great connecting rock, and all pushing me upwards towards the top. And I'm starting to gain "spotters" helping me with which rocks I should connect to next and able to see from perspectives from which I cannot, able to see the whole wall and all the possibilities, whereas I, on one rock can only see the immediate rocks by me and perhaps feel for some and get lucky landing them.
So if you have something where you're afraid to fall, get over the fear and JUST DO IT! You won't know until you do!

Learning about Community Leaders from the Outside

A friend told me I hadn't written in awhile, which is true, partially because I'm in a time of transition and nothing's official and partially because some of my thoughts I've been afraid of expressing, but then I remembered my pact of being my true self here. So I'll elaborate on the latter and a blog post very soon on the former.

The whole Zimmerman case has caused a lot of interesting discussions and for me realizations. I'm sure you've seen the pictures of 1950s vs. 2013 and sad thing is the pictures replicate each other. Not even an exaggeration. I won't go into my personal feelings on the event, only to say that I've realized how segregated we still are as a society and how important race still needs to be. What do I mean by that? Of course, I wish I lived in a colorblind world, where it didn't matter. But after this past year being surrounded by various ethnicities, I realized how important it was to not only acknowledge diversity, but discuss it. Assumptions are made before I do/say anything just because of who I am; and why should I being from a "privileged background" be handed any information from others who didn't have that same "easy path"?

This question has really resonated with me this week as I began to attend community events. I attended one neighborhood event and I kid you not, aside from the photographer and a councilman candidate, I was the ONLY non-African-American, and even they didn't stay til the end. I don't even mean to say "white person"; I truly mean it was all African-Americans. To me this was sad, sad that so many didn't have the opportunity to learn about their visions for their neighborhood, to hear the beautiful music sang/played, to watch the amazing stomp dancing and spoken word presentations. From the moment I entered, I knew I was an anomaly attending this event, even though it said "everyone welcomed" and I was invited by a community member. I especially knew this when they thanked people for coming and the speaker smiled and stared at me. 'Who's the white girl at the table?' was certainly the question running through everyone's mind.

I tried to "act normal" and striked up a conversation with the man sitting next to me, but when it turned into an interview format, I decided it would be best to let it go. But just as I was about to give up, he asked me, "so..who are you?" This was my chance. I started to describe to him I was new to the area and what I am trying to build in the community emphasizing the community-based part of the elevator pitch. He politely nodded and acquiesced my request, giving me his email to send him the one-pager. The community member who invited me then told me all the people I should meet, but it was hard. I had to approach them and even then there was an invisible barrier. People wanted to see their friends and people they hadn't talked to in a long time; not the random white girl at the event. I had to truly push through this, and even then, I felt the disinterest. I acquired a few more business cards and returned to my seat.

It was only then, when my role turned to merely as an observer of the meeting, that I was truly able to see who each of these individuals were and when their true identities radiated. I was so impacted by these individuals, their words, their voices, their thoughts. Finding out the man I had spoken to was a former high school principal who impacted another adult present at the meeting to continue school and was now a business owner. Another was the only African American in the House of Representatives, one fought for the Red Cap Room name at the historical Union Depot in honor of his father. One fought for the presence of minority businesses in the Square and it was her daughter's shop that was there.

These individuals' identities shone brighter than an LED neon glow stick and their stories so powerful, but it was only in the presence of the community. I asked myself selfishly why I wasn't able to see this power when I conversed with them? And then the whole "privileged background" and being handed information from others who were constantly oppressed conversation from the year really resonated with me.

All of a sudden there was a large division of "we" vs "them." And how could there not be? "They" put a highway straight through "our" neighborhood, "they" weren't even going to stop the lightrail in "our" neighborhood, just have it go straight to downtown so "we" couldn't utilize it, and "we" are going to have to fight to keep living in "our" neighborhood as taxes/house value increases with this light rail so "they" don't kick us out. All of these statements are completely fair and I don't blame the mistrust.

But leaving that meeting, I had a question in mind: how can we show the power of being a community leader outside "our people"? How can we communicate our story, our identities, our backgrounds? Isn't that how impact is sustained, when we do something outside our own turf? As I truly value building a program that is community-based, how can I do this authentically? Especially when there are so many different cultures within that one community.

This is my dream. This is my hope of bringing different walks of life together through music. That we can realize it's not about the color of our skin, it's about the wisdom, the stories, the compassion, and the friendships we build, both within our own communities and with others different from ourselves. In my mind, this is the only way, we will be able to start to have the conversations needed to be empathetic towards all.

And now I'll close with part of a spoken word poem by Joshua Akpan, a freshman highschooler from Brooklyn park.

"People are always talking about the stereotypes of a young, black boy. That's right. I will rob you.
Rob you of your ignorance...I will sell you a drug...a drug of wisdom." I wish I remembered more, but that's a poem that will stay with me a long while.

What are your thoughts?

Culturally Competent Orchestras #imagining2023

Thanks to the League of American Orchestras, I was able to attend their national conference free of charge. Aside from new connections, some of the sessions were very thought provoking including one discussing how to broach cross cultures. While I know etymologically the word culture come from its Latin root "to grow", the definition the presenter gave was the set of certain behaviors and values as things that are right and wrong.
What I found fascinating were the seven dynamics of culture
Fairness
Getting things done
Time
Status
Emotion
Control
Community

If you look at this link, you will notice there is a more individualistic, low affect side and a more communitarian, high affect side. Believe it or not, the new generation is tending to lean towards that similar of the archetype of Latinos, African Americans, and other high affect, communitarian peoples. So now let's apply this to orchestras. Everything from the structure of the concert hall being hierarchical to an exact duration of a piece to being reprimanded if applauding between movements are all things on the left side of these columns, where the archetype of Westerners tends to fall. But imagine if you tend to be on the right side of the above categories. You're used to expressing yourself, playing music in circles, and not knowing how long something will last because it will depend on that specific time of playing it (ex:drum circles, gamelan, indigenous music, jam sessions). Even if an orchestra ticket is available to you and they do include a composer from your ethnicity. Are they respecting your culture or at the very least acknowledging it? No. And that is why there hasn't been diversification of orchestra audiences. Sure part of it is an access problem, but why don't diverse audiences attend free concerts? Because they don't feel it's relevant to them, and how could they when only one end of the spectrum is being represented? How can we make it relevant to them so that they feel a part of their culture is reflected and thus it is of value? It's not because Latinos don't like classical music; did you know the first conservatory in America was in Mexico?
Obviously this wont't change overnight and I'm not necessarily suggesting people do the tongue flutter accolades done in E Africa in a symphony hall. But step one is for everyone to at least be aware and have the conversation. I asked when to have this conversation especially when beginning a new program? Her response will stick with me. "Well you have the operations, policies, etc. why not just add diversity as another topic?"

At the end of the conference we were all imagining our dreams for the orchestra in 2023 in six words or less. Mine was "orchestras truly represent communities and accessible to all." And then my colleague and friend Stan took the stage and boldly said we have bigger fish to fry than that we're not meeting our millions of dollar orchestra budgets. What about the future of children? Right now there is a 250 billion spent on children devoid of opportunity who end up in juv, welfare, pregnant, etc. that number will increase to 450 by 2023. Why not have the orchestras help this and worry about decreasing problems like the achievement gap in the twin cities, youth violence, teen pregnancy rates, etc. well said Stan well said!
So now I ask you. What do you think the world will look like in 2023 and how do you think orchestras can take a role so that they are not stifling, elite, sea-of-white hair institutions but rather the place their Greek root name derives, "the dancing place."

La Ultima Semana en Boston: New Discoveries

This past week has been nothing short of a whirlwind. In addition to the typical moving rituals of packing and farewells, I have had the pleasure of interpreting at the first U.S. misión (VZ to other countries) and Greater Boston showcase where eight nucleos came together and seven Venezuelans worked with them for an entire week, culminating in the final showcase concert tonight.  It was so great to be able to see all my colleagues' work. Bravi to all! I hope I can take pieces to MN!
As an aside, I saw my first El Sistema drums corps sans marching and a brass gig group that played the Beatles. It's evolved away from solely classical music in the US! Conservatory Lab is like the Montalbán of the US and I am so happy to hear they are expanding to 8th grade serving over 300+ students and eventually reaching 444 kids!
Aside from a brain that's caught between languages and many new connections I learned some more insights about the "Sistema way."

1) "Fuerza primero, refinamiento luego" (strength first, refinement later)
Forte is Venezuela's first objective and does not equate to passion. So often I hear people saying El Sistema kids are so passionate. I have no doubt about this! BUT, what is distinguishing that passion? Is this to say there isn't passion in other forms of music education? I certainly had passionate teachers/choir directors! Personally, I think this difference is the emphasis on the strong sound. Dr. Abreu strives for this strong sound as a starting point. In fact, he has a bow technique that literally translates as "scratching at the frog [of the bow]."A strong sound builds self-esteem and confidence, two incredibly important human characteristics.  In their opinion, pp (very soft) hinders technique and builds fear in the body. They emphasize this strong sound so much that for a long while piano dynamics are ignored in the music and everything is played forte.
I think it is this element of fortissimo, a surprise to which we're not used to hearing played by youth, magnified by the colossal size of their orchestras (200+), that some may claim as "passion."To say other music ed programs aren't passionate is just plain wrong.

2) The emphasis on scales
Roberto Zambrano, a founding member of El Sistema said everything for him was marked as pre/post his visit to Europe when he was studying Czech music for his Master's. He told me several times about how important it is to have the foundation of scales and it wouldn't be uncommon for them to work on this for an hour.
There is a pedagogy triangle of theory, practice, and philosophy. As I'm sure you're not surprised, scales was the foundation of practice and theory. Without scales one can't do anything. Philosophy was anything that wasn't specifically musical, but informed the piece or created "good" human beings.

3) The idea of ser y no ser
It's not that the current work is bad, but there's constantly the question of "What can I do better?" With this in mind, this isn't just applied to the music, but rather to the entire human being of constantly self-evaluating oneself.

4) It's not about being the best musician, but rather the best teacher
The best thing is to have a group of varying levels of musicians. A year ago, I would have thought this was a teacher nightmare, but now I realize that this is the best way to empower the students and strive for collective efficacy, and possibly a teacher's dream.

5) Playing together as an ensemble
Every time the VZ came to work with the students the exercises they did made them listen to each other and count in sections. It's the sum of these individual strengths that make up an orchestra. To build the symphonic sound, the same articulation is essential. This helps in establishing the "soñido corporal." The physical body of the orchestra needs to sound together.

6) Autogogica, translated as self-teaching
One (of many) reasons music is a way to develop human beings is the fact that music can be self-taught and guided. One can challenge themselves to do to the next exercise, discipline oneself to hone in on a particular section, or decide they want to play with their family/friends. It's the choice of that individual.

7) Discipline is not discipline for discipline's sake, but rather as a conduit for achieving goals
 Jesús Sira defined discipline as rules for living together in order to achieve goals. A very different definition than any I had previously heard or thought of myself. I'd love to hear comments on this!

8) Last but NOT least, is the love of your work. VZ for those of you who don't know sometimes do this for 12 hrs straight. There is no such thing as a bathroom break, a snack break, or even a mere 30 second mental break. They work HARD. But it's because they love it. You can't do something to that degree that you don't love. When I asked them what they would have liked to have done more of this week, they all responded, "Work more."

Thank you to Mark Churchhill, CLCS, the Venezuelans, and everyone who generously hosted me this week. It was a wonderful, and very relevant/appropriate way to end my time in Boston. I hope I can visit soon!! They're having an international seminario in Acarigua June 14. Congrats to Maestro Abreu who received an honorary doctorate from Harvard alongside Oprah and Mayor Menino! And thus closes another life chapter.

A Farewell to Boston

Life is full of surprises. This adage never ceases to (ironically) surprise me. Graduation was a whirlwind, but while impromptu, it truly was a beautiful ceremony. Each fellow gave their own unique presentation. Personally, two first things occurred. One was the minority played music and in that music was myself. I don't say this to sound arrogant, but rather as a new moment of self-awareness. Performance has never been something I will willingly do. I usually acquiesce requests when people ask me to accompany or play something with them, but rarely is it my idea. While this still was at the request of my wonderful friend/fellow Monique, it made me realize how important performance is to me. It's just not that in the setting of a concert pianist, but rather as a way to bring people together. When I was playing, I got lost in the music, and expressed myself in a way that only music can. A goal for me this next year is to stay an active performer and know that doing that in an ensemble setting is just as acceptable as a soloist. The other new thing is I gave a speech without any preparation. The words were coming to me while other fellows were speaking, but when I got up there with my outline and all, I didn't glance down once. Looking out to the audience, I realized I, while my blood family was absent, was among family, the NEC/Sistema family, and it was really special to have such an intimate, meaningful graduation, instead of the typical names and pre-determined speeches. It's not too often one gets to plan their own graduation, and we did just that. After then flying to CA to hear my sister's graduation which was essentially a capital campaign speech (and an atrocious one at that), I continued to feel so fortunate for how special our ceremony was.

I'd also like to put a plug for our recently finished Sistema assessment paper: http://sistemafellows.typepad.com/my-blog/2013/05/an-exploration-in-el-sistema-inspired-assessment-practice.html
I'd love to hear your input!

And then, I went to MN for 3.5 days. Mainly so I didn't have to take a 7 hr flight straight back, but also to have some meetings I had initially scheduled over Christmas break that didn't happen then...And in those 9 meetings in 3 days, my future was deemed. I know part of it is honeymoon stage of not having been home in 6 months, but part of it, and the part that counts, is that it just felt so right! The work happened so naturally and I truly felt the potential and support that WILL happen. How can the Twin Cities NOT have a program?!

The Tipping Point

I'm aware it's been awhile. To be frank, aside from the busyness excuse, aside from further cultivation of development skills, there hasn't been a whole lot to blog about with next steps being uncertain. But after a complimentary registration of the League conference and some wonderful conversations with colleagues,  life is going to happen regardless of if I plan it or not so I'm riding with it and not overanalyzing the possibilities, but rather actively pursuing the options. Here's a book that I thought worthwhile.

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Perhaps some of you will recognize the title of this blog from Malcolm Gladwell's bestseller The Tipping Point. If you haven't read it, regardless of your field (but especially if you're in the Sistema world), I HIGHLY recommend it. Psychology is a subject I did not take in school and something that fascinates me and to which I have learned a great deal this year. The book talks about a lot of different instances, but let me choose two and apply them to the Sistema field and why I feel they are so relevant. All information is accredited to the aforementioned book. As always comments are welcome!

1. Contagiousness vs. Stickiness
The former term is a factor of who receives the message and how many different groups of people that person knows; notice I did not say how many people that person knows because if all those people are in the same circle, it will not spread. The latter term has to do with the product itself. How impressionable is it? There's a Law of Few meaning it doesn't take a large group of people to spread something. Find those passionate people and invest time in them!

The stickiness factor will have to do with the impression you leave on people at events, your website, and the difference your program makes (the reason why logic models, assessment/evaluation are so important. Stay tuned for a paper on this from our cohort!). Some people may not have a lot of friends, but they're incredibly persuasive and when these people tell others about an idea, they're sold.

The combination of these two types of people is what the Sistema field needs! I learned from the book there was a guy that did the same thing as Paul Revere, but he didn't know people outside his social circle so riding outside of Boston was pointless.

2. Nature vs. Nurture
The book also discusses the fact that children who are from troubled neighborhoods, but good families are worse off than troubled families and good neighborhoods. The studies discussed show that in fact, it's not parents who have a large influence on the kids (done through comparing adopted children with their adopted parents and finding no resemblance whatsoever). It's rather the peer environment that influences children significantly.

Expanding this thought, it's also not what you do in the environment ("the convictions of your heart and the actual contents of your thoughts are less important in guiding your actions than the immediate context of your behavior" (165), but rather creating that environment. This is to say that it is more important psychologically speaking to create a safe, nurturing, supportive environment than produce musical excellence, stimulation or concentration on X skill. In my mind, THIS is why nucleos are effective.

I just heard an anecdote from ACME pertaining to this. ACME students are the only ones saying thank you for their snacks out of all the afterschool program children (that's 13 out of 100+). Some could say this is just a correlation, but the fact that it is such a small number tells me otherwise or that it is in fact a strong correlation. In my mind, this is producing the nebulous "social change" everyone discusses, one baby step at a time. And it's because the environment to do so is created, not the fact that they're playing musical instruments.

I also just read ACME's first Evaluation report that showed ACME kids were more creative and showed more empathy than the control group. And this is in under a year with a mere thirteen first graders! I can only imagine the long-term outcomes a program like ACME can have in vast communities all across the world!!



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As I end this year, my next steps are still uncertain, but the immense amount of skills I have begun to develop and the connections that have been built give me the confidence to go out into this world and do the work. I've also decided that as I learned this year in group discussions, an objective must be set before every meeting to be as efficient as possible. I now actively use this same principle in life. Just think if we set out each day with a Purpose in mind (the P is upper case on purpose). Instead of going to a job with the purpose of "making a living," think if we went to that job for the purpose of making a difference, and in turn MADE A LIFE! What does it really mean to make a living? Perhaps I am among few who think this and I'm sure I can be called unrealistic, a dreamer, stuck in a bubble and not in the "real world," but after the recent Boston marathon events I am continually reminded that each day is a blessing and an opportunity. An opportunity to do what YOU want. For me, that is to make this world a better place in the best way I know how. In the words of Switchfoot, "This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"

Back to Reality: A La Orden

Is it really true? I step out of the cab as my feet touch the white snow falling from the sky and I unlock my front door. As I walk into my room and see my bed for the first time in almost a month, it feels almost as if I hadn't left, but introspectively, I see everything with a new light. I don't think I've ever been so happy to eat oatmeal and a veggie burger and today, now that food is back to my control, marks day 1 for my true vegan diet. We'll see what happens.

Our last full day in Caracas consisted of a significant meeting, the one and only Maestro José Antonio Abreu. As we were anxiously waiting for him to arrive, I searched the various certificates hung on the walls for the honorary doctorate I know he had received from NEC. I had no such luck, but instead found honorary doctorates from several institutions, Germany and Venezuela, recognition from the cities of LA and Boston, and many many other awards for being a phenomenal citizen, contribution to science, humanity, music, the arts, economy..the list is endless. All of these awards (especially knowing there were others like the NEC honorary doctorate that weren't even shown!) reinforced to me what an amazing man this was, not only nationally, but literally worldwide.

I am so glad we spent the whole morning prior to the meeting planning what we were going to say because he left the meeting completely up to us. It was so special to not only have time with him, but to have a personal interaction with him. He didn't make a speech, but instead everything he said was in dialogue with what we were telling him. It was also really exciting to not only hear the takeaways of my fellow colleagues, but of their future plans, a topic which we so readily will dismiss because of fear. Even though it is still unclear, I am so calm and confident knowing it will work out as it always does.
Dr. Abreu stressed the importance of having a choral program in every nucleo and I also found out he went to MN tenish years ago for a choral conference led by their director of choral programs (who didn't even start as a choralist!). Needless to say, high dream achieved!

Despite the media angle of a corrupt, socialist, and "evil" Venezuela, I was shown the COMPLETE opposite from every person I encountered, inside and outside of El Sistema from the minute I exited the airport to the minute I arrived in Texas. They never say "you're welcome" there, but rather "to the order" and were literally there to serve us whenever, however, and in whatever way they could. It made me think our response to thank you of "you're welcome' and how automatic and unthoughtful it is when we say it. As I step back into American life, I am going to take those three simple words with me. and the next time I say 'you're welcome" I am truly going to mean it. The friendships, stories, memories, joy, laughter, and  in every way imaginable beautiful country reinspired, rejuvenated, and demonstrated to me once again how much people can have, and how much more these types of things weigh than material goods.

                                                     Beautiful Venezuelan countryside