Wed Best Day Yet/La Red Wrap-Up

I know, I'm long overdue for a post. The past two weeks have enough thoughts for a post a day, but I think for now it will be these two.

Wednesday day was THE BEST! I think it's better explained through the photos I have on Facebook, but seeing the escalators outside in the previously most dangerous neighborhood in Medellin which was the murder capital of the world now decorated with beautiful murals was absolutely incredible! I also got to eat my first real salad and wheat bread with a friend of a friend from Luther who has been one of the most helpful, kindest persons towards me, doing things only close friends/family would do back home. It seems there is no such thing as a stranger here-paisa, as locals are called here, will follow you when you're going the wrong way after you ask for directions, they'll find someone who is going that way to accompany you, they'll pay the difference when you don't have change, nothing but kind, helpful, hospitable people (though I've been warned this isn't the case in Bogota). Not to mention Wed. was topped with biking in the middle of a highway and all over the city for 18k (a little over 11 miles) with HUNDREDS of other bikers and to think they do this on a weekly basis! Oksy to return to the electric stairs as they're called here.

To think that this is where guns sounded, people were forced to join guerrilla groups, and people had to climb 385 steps and then go down a steep hill to get to any type of manner of city center, is dumbfounding!!! I went up the escalators saw the beautiful mist kissing the tops of the mountains and overlooking the entire city of Medellin. The only sounds I Heard were of kids playing and people talking. The only things I saw were beautiful murals, a kid playing with a recycling bin, and lots of plants. I was even thanked for visiting. The locals didn't even know about this and thought it was still a very unsafe place. I wish we as a northern hemisphere would accept we don't know everything (not even close!) and would bumble ourselves to look at our "less developed" counterparts in South America. Those stairs, the metro, the gondolas, a free bike-loan system (like NiceRide), and more than weekly road closures for bikes only, and the incredible free, fitness complexes in multiple neighborhoods throughout Medellin, not to mention La Red itself, available to any youth in the city, in all 27 neighborhoods!, are just some of the lessons we can learn. I saw true access, adaptation, and more than anything, an increidbly investment in arts and culture, both the physical capital and the art itself. La Red de musica is only one of the many programs, they also have dance, acting, visual arts, ceramics, and of course this doesn't include sports programs. Music is certainly the most intensive, but Medellin is a true model for other cities to follow.

And the stats match the investment: <5 teen pregnancies (used to be an epidemic), 1/350 students joined a combo or gang in a neighborhood notorious for them, not to mention how articulate EVERY student that I interviewed was. I'm still tabulating surveys, but it is sufficient to say according to the ARC tool I used, these kids are pretty dang self-determined. I think a lot of it comes from the focus and need/opportunity to practice. In addition to ensemble rehearsals here, which only happen weekly, so they have to practice. Instruments are kept at the sede and they can come between 8-11 and 2-6 to practice. I'll write more on the exact structure of La Red later, but structured time is only 3-6 hours/week maximum. THat means the rest of the time is them practicing, planning, conversing, for themselves. And youth are choosing this program from many other options. So why aren't we looking to Medellin as a model? Because they're not spending their money on marketing, on international tours, on being missionaries elsewhere-they're investing in their community, every single dollar.

Of course, nothing is a panacea, and being 100% funded by government funds has its challenges-particularly guaranteed work (you are lucky to have a 9 month contract), budget cuts (the city accord says they have to guarantee funding for the program, but doesn't say how much), and like any government, the politics that go with this. They let go of an amazing woman who was the director the past three years because a new mayor took hold and they've switched locations of many of the veteran directors of each sede, one may suggest, to gain control. I'll stay neutral, and will say the new director is wonderful and very focused on adding more cultural ensembles-an African ensemble is due to begin in October, and I had the pleasure of watching a Colombian ensemble, made up of entirely Colombian instruments, and a "contemporary ensemble" that gave an amazing concert, all music from Latin America. I didn't have the pleasure of seeing the tango orchestra (I chose to go to the parent choir instead), but I know it exists. Some of the directors said youth chose 70% of music and when I walked into any rehearsal, I didn't hear the traditional, Western European classics-they do 1 or 2, so the youth know them, but I heard directors arranging Grease, students asking to play soundtracks like Titanic, lots of Colombian rhythms, learning about the music of their own country!

A director said something yesterday that has really stuck with me-Latin America used to only see these instruments on television. THere was an incredible colonization and if you had the grand privilege of these instruments being available it was guaranteed you would play "their' music-the classical standards we're all accustomed to. But La Red offers something different-in addition to a familial environment where you learn about yourself and others, La Red offers a chance to practice one of these "televisoin instruments" in your own neighborhood-and to play music that is from here. That doesn't happen elsewhere! Of course I'm paraphrasing, but he's right, and now I understand why so many Sistema programs are instrumental. Sadly, the voice isn't seen as a hot commodity because it's something we already have, (I won't make the counterargument of that being why it is the most powerful and accessible here!), but now I understand at least, to some degree, why these youth are so determined, disciplined, and tenacious!

I also found it interesting that the only time the students I interviewed had worked was during holiday. Without tabulating exactly at least 75% of interviewees were studying music and 100% were studying something with about 95% of them in formal univeristy. This is noting that there were probably students working who couldn't attend the site when I was there, but the majority of students of this age group (18-22) were studying. Definitely surprising. Because even 10 years ago, in some of these neighborhoods it would be unthinkable that their child was going to college, let alone to study music. One of the teachers did mention the problem this is creating in Medellin of having 42 of one instrument, for example, with only so many professional ensembles, increasing the competition and the possibility of low wages, etc. He thinks the next step is to create a Simon Bolivar equivalent. But this won't happen because the program is purely social-yes some are first chairs in Brussels and Italy (which was news to me!) and 80% of the professional ensemble players were students in La Red, but the money they invest is only towards a social aim. My point is not to argue whether this is good or bad, but rather to demonstrate the possibilities and opportunities that La Red has made possible to ALL children (in those 27 neighborhoods, they do have programs in the wealthy neighborhoods too!). Equal opportunity for all-5300 youth choosing this over other extracurriculars and street activities.

Get ready St. Paul. I'm ready to make a proposal to whoever the new mayor is!!

Power of youth

8/08
Today I visited San Javier-a neighborhood I thought was incredibly unsafe, that turned out to be nothing but lush green and actually one of the middle class neighborhoods La Red works with in comparison).The director had been changed from a poorer neighborhood so that was her perspective anyway. The sede was in an old house and like every other site, students were practicing. I went into a practice room with four students to take the survey. But one in particular, Jorge, really struck me. He asked in what context many of the questions were, thinking of the social parameters, providing option C not listed, and of course it was him who did the interview. His story is incredible. I will try to do it as much justice as I can and what I've learned is these students LOVE to share and be heard. I've learned through these interviews they have been empowering to the youth and/or a method for them to internally reflect. When I thought my gift was the American chocolate I gave them, it turned out for most of them, it was the gift to be heard and hear their story. WIth this in mind, I will keep Jorge's true name to share his authentic story with y'all. All the teachers told me he was unique, but that's one of the words like "special," or "interesting" that I didn't know how to interpret. Jorge, 22, was dressed in a yellow shirt and baggy cargo pants, long wavy black hair, a gap between his two front teeth, and a huge, relentless smile with a cello between his legs. It was like his accessory-instead of a necklack around his neck he had a cello upon his chest. He even lifted his shirt at one point in the interview to show me the mark that the cello had made on him physically so that it literally had become a part of him. He described the sound of the cello and the harmonics as something spiritual. From the minute he began, I understood what the teachers meant by unique. He had a self-awareness unlike any other-he began talking about how he had the love of his family, health, and the things he needed and that even sometimes he could go out to do something special.

His dad was a unique artesan who had accepted he couldn't make his entire living through his plastic art so was an "obrero" (laborer). His family, very Catholic and "close-minded." He assured me had their support and love and accepted him for who he was, but that they didn't understand him. He did say the routine La Red had established helped them somewhatHis short-term goal was to finish his degree in the equivalent of music technology and his long term goal was to have a tool to share his music, to be able to record it, be a professor, hopefully in a "vulnerable area" to help those without access,.and sustain himself both physically and socially (more on this later). He talked about before cello he played guitar and about how once you strum the strings they're done. Whereas the reason he had acquired patience, discipline, concentration, and this grand profundity of spirituality was through the elongated sound one must have using a bow. And then he said cello was what helped him find the light.

It was then that I learned Jorge used to be suicidal, for 2 years, and incredibly depressed. He treated school as an obligatioin, slept through classes and did not use his time wisely. . Jorge told me how when he first came to La Red, particularly in the class of expresion corporal (body expression) he was incredibly resistant. He didn't understand why he had to go, but now admits it was fundamental. His first lesson with his cello teacher was the beginning of a grand transition in his life. It was there that he felt equality between him and her, despite her being the professor, that he sparked "feeling like a child again with a new experience.

He told me expresion corporal ended up having an incredible influence on him because it was there he developed self-awareness, not only how we define it academically, but also things like how to carry oneself with balance and what happens when one does not do so. Frankly it sounds like everyone, myself included, should take this class!  It was there he began this truthfully spiritual transformation where he learned how to respond to people different than him, that there was more than one way to perceive something, and that there was more than one accepted way to do something. In this regard, Jorge began to advance, expressing his entire self through cello, and the cello truthfully becoming part of his identity..He claimed it was the interaction with others that changed his spirit and opened him to everything (science, music, "the amalgam of everything"), His self-esteem "increased to the clouds" when he showed himself self-love, stopped comparing himself to others, and accepted that we are all different from each other and how to be respectful towards others. He said one has to balance feeling good with sharing with another person.

It was also through cello, that he realized he needed to do well in school, to be curious about everything, and apply himself. Cello was the first time he studied something because he wanted to, and now with a major in music technology, he is learning physics through the music. He ended up turning this "youthful rebellion" into graduating from a baccheralaureate program by night being at La Red from 8-12 and 2-6 every day! His philosophy was with all activities one had to mediatate and reflect on what one was doing and that it was a process (like I said an incredible, unique student!).

One of my questions was about if and how La Red has helped you make "good" decisions. Jorge's response was again quite philosophical. La  Red has given him the awareness and confidence to make finite decisions. One has to confront problems. "When one ignores reality,or wants to ignore reality, problems increase. La Red has helped him make decisions with the focus/contet he has now.  He doesn't drink in excess, because in addition to alcoholism in his family, he knows the consequences-it means he can't study cello. Though he did admit that even though he knows the brain damage substances can do, you have to live a little! .He brought up a very interesting point-nothing is inherently bad-it's not the alcohol or marijuana or sex that is bad. It's the actions people do ("fighting, non-consensual sex,and being hungover") ,and the lack of finality when these become habits-for example being tostor (Colombian word for hungover)..He also talked about how one has to interact with one's self to know one's self, a self-"socialization" if you will. If you have a plan, you have to be able to distinguish good from bad.  Have I said how wise this chico was?

As a side tangent, this was an incredible difference I noticed here-no one said practice, or attending La Red, everyone referred to it as studying, which in itself I think is notable in measuring determination.

 I would have never guessed Jorge had a darker past, he was nothing but smiles, laughing various times throughout the interview, his yellow shirt reflecting his capricious demeanor. He spoke for over an hour (so I won't write down all of his responses), but I again want to restate how articulate these youth are. He articulated his process of learning as enjoying, learning, transmitting/sharing. Almost all of the youth have mentioned this last step-how it's not about them, but rather how they interact with others. He gave an example of how he interacted with different people, like me.

Another thing that left me pensive was how he thinks of time. It reminded me a little bit of the way indigenous tribes and Tanzanians view it-circular rather than linear. He drew me a picture of a circle representing the sun, showing me where on the circle the sun rose and set, with time left for sleep. He talked about how he does everything fragmented with studying being the continued variable.

He then asked if he could show me something on his cello. Of course I agreed. He started to play various strings at once in various intervals 4ths, and fifths, and said that this was how people would ideally interact, with the maximum tension possible in a respectful way, because we are all different and we need to show all our colors (again, paraphrasing/interpreting). We have to not be afraid to be radical or challenge injustice (tension), but do so in a respectful way. In addition, in this context I believe, had to do with passion, with the maximum exertion of one's self. That together two notes make a chord-accord. The fact that he was able to articulate this was beyond anything I ever anticipated. Let the deep conversations continue! Power and wisdom of youth continues to amaze me! .

The Contour of the Mountains

Wow, it's only day 2 of interviews and I already have so much. These students are so articulate! Every single one talked about how it was a social program AND explained what that meant WITHOUT prompting. I have some pretty transformative stories of differences in behavior, but today I want to share the context of where I was: San Cristobal. Each morning, Julian picks me up on his scooter and off we go-the past two days up and down hills, like a roller coaster of sorts (don't worry, I'm wearing a helmet and going a max of 40k). Anyway, today was a 30 minute ride and up up up we went. It was beautiful, up in the mountains where they grow some of the flowers for the feria, and the city has made library parks. This particular one had an infamous, rotund Botero statue of a cat (see my Facebook) and an incredible 5 year old building with A/C (too much in my opinion!) and tinted windows. BEAUTIFUL space. But this was a neighborhood where violence was still very much a reality.
Three years ago, Walter, an 18 yr old flutist in La Red for 8 years, left the school and was approached by some of the combos as they call them. They pressured him to join their drug trade and also wanted his knowledge from being from another barrio. He refused to join so they brought him elsewhere and killed him. An 18 year old that had a future ahead of him, that was being resilient, that was on a new path. Gone.

As you can imagine, there was some serious grief after this incident and one of the staff interviews talked about how they had a workshop on grief to deal with it. It is instances like these that use reflection as a real life application, not just a "what did we do today" pedantic question. This really hit home as while I haven't had to deal with this exact situation there are many times where I too have frozen not knowing what to do with an abusive family relationship or a youth who doesn't feel safe going home.

Multiple times today, I saw youth from outside trying to peer in the tinted windows. It was pretty impressionable to see youth outside consuming substances (I won't make assumptions as to what) juxtaposed with youth preparing diligently on the inside of the A/C, wood floor building for the concert this evening.
But what's been amazing is while I've consistently heard that La Red is a social program about growing people, not musicians, I haven't heard the evangelical pitch of music saving lives, and yet, the anecdotes I've heard, couldn't be more clear, that it has. So much so that Walter gave his life for it-he felt that strongly.

I wrote the following poem as I watched the beginning band with the backdrop of these youth from the street outside: :

Kids working hard, playing music, and the window behind them
The sun shining, street kids consuming
Peering in the tinted windows
Looking to see what was happening
Me looking back at them, the rest unphased, continuing to strive, to express themselves.
A maximum of 12 years old, these youth on the outside had potential too,
Locked inside of them, yearning to be discovered. But instead,
sedated,
psychologically altered,
prioritizing immediate gratification. The drugs. Hit. Hard.
How can this be? They already murdered Walter when he refused to be
One of Them. But lost that battle.
Lost his life and his possibility of another life-a trajectory
that had flutes instead of guns, music instead of drugs, friends instead of gangs.
The green mountains and agriculture creating the beautiful sillateros a la vez cultivating the coca and other substances. Providing the good and the bad.
Inside, a beautiful A/C building with its own statues, art gallery, and sounds of youth
practicing with esfuerzo for the concert hosted in the private theater that evening. Red velvet seats, and youth presenting on the stage
A mix of ages
Matching uniforms.
La red-a network of musicians, dreamers, youth who can truly change the world because they've changed their paths, had the possibility
to live, not just survive.
To dream, to unlock their potential
fuerte
A refuge
spirtually, musically, socially, atop that mountain daily
freeing themselves from the ignorance, the conflict, the tumult of San Cristobal.

Day 1

Wow, my head is already spinning with thoughts and it's only Day 1. The people here are incredible- so friendly, hospitable, helpful. I am reaffirmed how much I love this continent-and I think at this point I can say continent! I feel completely safe so don't worry Mom :)
I think a daily blog will be necessary to help me process all the thoughts. Today was mostly interviews with staff and concluded with an amazing concert by a contemporary ensemble of music from around Latin America-incredibly well done! Interdisciplinary, visuals for every song, musical excellence, and fun! Despite Monday being a "bad day for cultural outings" there were 1750 people in the audience! Amazing and truly inspirational. I definitely took notes for how to improve CMC performances so stay tuned!!
I learned so much! It always happens over the "cafecito," the spontaneous interviews you didn't have planned! I ended up having two interviews in a row-both unplanned. One was with the director of the entire program and one was with the pedagogical coordinator. I won't lie, I was jealous such a position existed, but I guess with 5300 students and 27 sites that's allowed. I'll save the facts/figures for my thesis unless someone wants a specific fact, but I am super excited to have a sequential socioemotional learning process document. SO many programs talk about the social skills but this is the first program I've seen that has activities and an aspect dedicated to it. Stay tuned once it's translated and compiled!
Geoff, I think you would be pleased. I was pleasantly surprised to learn the goals of the program were to expand culturally, both in pedagogic practices and in the repertoire, so that European music wasn't the dominant type, but rather "horizontal" to other whether that be a tango orchestra or a violin piece by a Latin composer. I'll get the exact demographics at some point, but the grand majority of participants are "mixed" meaning the large African population, indigenous populations, and others, are not super well represented and they want to be a reflection of the community. They are not only saying this, but their goals reflect this desire. The new director was younger than I would have expected (mid 30s), but seems very well-intentioned and is a musician himself.
The program, note I did not say organization and I learned some of the great challenges that come with this, is incredibly sustainable because there is an agreement from the City Council that it must be guaranteed and 100% funded by the Mayor's office. However, one of the great challenges I learned is because it's a program and not an organization there are fluctuations in the budget, amount of teachers hired yearly, etc. The city gives the budget and then they plan their program instead of the opposite, like in the US. What was amazing to me was to hear Julian, the curriculum director, that it's only a 9 month program-and they are not paid the other three months so they have to save money and plan for that. He has done that for 13 years! And next year, he could not be invited back-but that hasn't happened and he continues to have faith.
Everyone has been so gracious and excited to have me. So approachable. I'm giving a presentation to all 16 of the administration on Wed morn at 8 am (no hora latina here!) and after meeting them today, I'm not concerned at all. They're all so approachable and want to help however they can. They're willing to share anything and already have so much more documented than Venezuela. I'll save their history for my thesis, but always interesting and have a good context to begin interviews tomorrow.
Well I promised myself an early bedtime. My hostal is lovely with a terrace and a covered rooftop kitchen overlooking all of Medellin. I'm LOVING the Metrobus and very thankful to have data through T-Mobile free of charge as SIM didn't work since iPhones are locked. Decided to retreat to the hostal after the concert instead of going to another concert, but there's one every night this week so I'm sure I'll say more (see a few pics on Facebook).
Te despido. Buenas noches!

Pre-Departure Thoughts

WOW! I leave tomorrow! So surreal. It won't hit me till I'm getting off the plane surrounded by the Andes Mountains and hearing Spanish and having to pay in pesos-maybe then it will hit me. It has been QUITE a whirlwind of a summer between running three summer camps and weddings every other weekend. Something I did this summer that was invaluable to me as a teacher that I haven't had time to reflect on was sitting in on some of Angie Broeker's Teaching Young Singers course. She said something that really struck me: Trusting my authentic self even if that's different. So often, I'm trying to blend in, be the adaptive chameleon, I'm really good at being. Hell, I even tried to be a brunette for the trip, thinking somehow brown hair would have me fit in-not that the 5'10" stature or blue eyes wouldn't dominate that. But then I asked myself-why? Why am I so afraid to stand out, to draw attention to myself, particularly as a musician? Why do I hate being in the limelight so much? I've finally started to be able to accept compliments, but it takes a lot of conscious effort! If anyone else struggles with this, feel free to comment!

As I further reflected, the only logical reason I came up with was the musician world-dog-eat-dog competition, musical excellence solely defined by how well you wave your hands as a conductor or perform, and achieving the most advanced music as the primary goal. This was most of my solo performer life-worried about how others would judge me, or perhaps how I thought others would judge me. Being transparent, there were times I was told in college to choose other career paths, that conducting particularly was not for me. But I persevered and will never regret majoring in music-it has brought me around the world! But as a solo musician, it wasn't until I started going around the world that I felt value as a solo musician again. Between the chastising of my conducting technique and battling tendonitis so I had to switch from piano to voice as my main instrument, no wonder I froze up in college.

But Tanzania was what reignited me-I played Brahms Violin Sonata-awell-advanced technique piano piece and again understood why I was playing-to share my gift with others. I want to quote Angie again saying we should redefine excellence as an organization that fulfills its mission statement. Amen to that. Perhaps that was what grabbed me and inspired me in Tanzania, in Venezuela, in Boston, and now, yes in my own program here in Minnesota. There is no objective truth in music, only in a specific paradigm, which we tend to use the Western classical one as a given, not an assumption.

My challenge to myself as I embark to Colombia tomorrow is (aside from my formal research questions) to a) not be afraid to stand out and own that-height, who I am as a musician, being an American in this time, all of it. That in itself is a challenge, though always easier for me to do when I am in a new environment. B) To explore the mission statements of these programs and if they are fulfilling them. C) To explore, observe, and listen-not to hypothesize, assume, or otherwise make pre-conceived paradigms. I am really going to strive to take these programs for what they are at face value, whether that is incredible or underwhelming. I am going with zero expectations, only an open heart, mind, a recorder to record their words and a camera/video to capture memories or illustrations that exemplify a program's mission--or don't.

I applied for the Charles C. Jackson grant last November so I have been working on this project for 10 months-tomorrow I take off. Special thanks to them and the University of MN Judd Fellowship for making this trip possible! Here's to adventure, learning, and expressing my whole self, blonde hair, blue eyes, 5"10 height and all!

Independence Day

It's been so long clearly I have quite a few blogs to catch up on! Especially before I go to Colombia and then I promise you'll receive at least a weekly blog post. But today I want to reflect on the Day of Independence and how I did that this weekend. I'm not exactly a fan of our current "leader" and I agree, America isn't the greatest place on Earth for many. However, I want to leave politics out as I do when I go to the North Shore, which is where I spent the past 4 days and there is no other word but bliss. I usually go to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness that is 1 million acres of nothing but serenity, beauty, and rejuvenation. No sounds but the paddle of a canoe in the water and loons calling on the lake. No smells but maybe the smoke of the campfire. No tastes but maybe the occasional wild blueberry patch one stumbles across after a long portage. And views? Well, by day you have lake after lake with either 500 ft cliffs and deciduous trees or small ponds with lilypads and the occasional turtle. I've been around the world, but there is no place like this that I return year after year. This year I was only able to go for a day, but we did a mile of portaging including a stairway portage, 3 lakes, and a waterfall. It was just long enough to soak in and nothing felt more refreshing than diving into the water to rinse away the sweat, the bug spray (that is one con of the area), and soak my sore muscles after portaging a 75-80 lb. canoe. Some don't think this sounds relaxing, but the beauty and the conversations that arise from being with someone in a canoe for multiple hours, truly are. This was how I spent one day of my Independence Day retreat.
Each morning I slept until I needed to get up with no phone and took my journal and book down to the bubbling brook in the backyard of where I stayed. I've been here so many times (at least once/year since I was 13) and yet, I had never done that before. There's always new places, even in familiar places. To listen to the calm water as I realized self-discovery was wonderful, literally. It ignited my creativity and empowered me to be me and that was when I realized what I was doing-I was truly embracing Independence with a capital I. I've been reading a lot about the wild woman archetype, specifically Women Running with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkold and I've felt incredibly empowered by the book because it is a type of woman our society doesn't usually embrace or talk about. It's a woman who is strong, emotive, creative, sensual, and yes, independent. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the maternal, but that's just not where I'm at in life. Each day up on the North Shore, I did what I wanted to do on my time. Sometimes others joined me, like my friend Kevin, and we biked 24 miles on the Gitchi Gami by Lake Superior passing through fields of lupine, yarrow, and lilies (yes it was also beautiful) and had lunch down by the water. Other times it was just me like when I ran ~1.6 miles to Dyers Lake and jumped in the water and swam halfway across and back hearing a loon mating call which sounds like a laugh and is one my favorite sounds. Another highlight was watching fireworks on the 4th from a canoe on Superior. The reflection of the fireworks, the noise reverberating off the lake, it was impressive for a small town show. More so, it was impressive that despite being July 4th I could see my breath! Canoeing back in the dark under the light of an almost full moon was a memory I will hold dear.
So as others enjoyed their 4th by partying into the wee hours of the night I decided I was going to abstain and really get in touch with my inner Self. It worked and it couldn't have been more perfectly timed as an independent woman. It was also the perfect timing to finish a book I've been working on for awhile, the Artist's Challenge. Since January, I've been journaling daily about recovering as an artist so I can get to my true artist self and share my creativity again. The last week (it's a 12 week course technically, but life got in the way) was about a sense of autonomy. How will I continue to feed and express my artist when the book is gone? This weekend was a perfect start. There was no phone, there was continual self-reflection, there was adventure, there was community and deep conversations that challenged me, provoked me, nourished me, and taught me new perspectives. But at the end of the day, despite 10 other people being there, it was just me doing my thing. I am Zara. I challenge you to find your thing if you haven't. You, as an independent person, even if our country may not be giving everyone their deserved freedom, you deserve it. Take it.  

Epistemology: Knowing Your Community

The Culturally Responsive Evaluation and Awareness conference in Chicago left me with awe. True awe, the jaw-dropping, mind-blowing "wow," so bear with me as I struggle to articulate the experience into a blog entry. First off to hear words like "evaluation" and "holographic" in the same sentence was certainly a new experience. These are the people that care more about the stories and "soft" qualitative evidence as the statistical quantitative data. There were large representations of native Hawaiians and New Zealand Maori people along with several American Indian tribes. The conference began with three of these tribes singing their equivalent to the national anthem and then the representatives of the visiting tribes bringing gifts to the local tribes to thank them for letting them be on their land. It was incredible to see the intentionality in these tribe members of not only thanking them for hosting, but acknowledging the land that we were standing upon. That in itself made me know this conference was going to be a game-changer.
The next 2.5 days were spent listening to speakers from many different communities of color and researchers and graduate students talking about how they had implemented culturally responsive practices in their cultural contexts and/or work. A main lesson I learned during the Sistema fellowship of tailoring your program to the community was discussed in almost every presentation. After breaking down epistemology (ways of knowing), I want to take that concept one step further: value your community. Knowledge is only the beginning. Knowledge means nothing if one doesn't use it to respond in a culturally responsive way, which requires valuing the culture(s) of the people one is working with.

I'm working on a case study for my graduate school Integrative Leadership course at the University of Minnesota's Carlson School of Management where we had to select an initiative that exhibited integrative leadership and assess the presence/absence of integrative leadership in the initiative. While there are many definitions of Integrative leadership, our group has defined integrative leadership as the ability to bring diverse voices together to achieve collective impact ensuring all voices are represented at the executive/decision-making level. The organization we selected, Gen Next, has brought together many different stakeholders (corporations, foundations, schools, city officials, neighborhood associations) to close the nation's largest achievement gap and by doing so certainly exhibited qualities of integrative leadership at a sectoral level. However, in our interviews, we learned of contradicting viewpoints as to what extent the initiative has been successful. Mainly due to the fact that the communities GenNext is serving are feeling undervalued. A lesson I heard again and again during this conference was "It's not what you do what you do, but how you do what you do." The why of everyone wanting to close the achievement gap is certainly aligned, but when corporations and foundations want higher literacy and graduation scores, without looking at the youth holistically, particularly that of their cultural values, many community members have felt they are trying to produce worker bees. Efficiency and independence are two examples of assumed values. What if these character traits aren't valued in the communities for which Gen Next is trying to serve? In order for there to be a lasting, significant impact, one must have integrative leadership at a societal level, which requires aligning values, and that is tremendous, deliberate work. Work where people must be humble and make no assumptions and actively listen to each other without judgment. This requires giving up power and authority.

This conference discussed a lot of these dynamics that are part of Critical Theory discourse and was perfectly applicable to both my work in Sistema as well as my graduate coursework in international development. It's all about building trust in relationships and respecting the values of the community, which researchers/development practioners (especially funders) don't always do. I went into this conference with believing the ultimate indicator of social change is agency, that is the power that one has the ability and power to change his/her life trajectory. However, as we've seen in a case study in Uganda, autonomy and independence aren't necessarily values they share. Rather interdependence is part of life and it's through that interdependence that people are motivated to help one another (you scratched my back so I'll scratch yours).

As most good discussions and conferences go, I left the conference with more questions than answers, but also with a framework of knowing what types of questions one needs to ask and to make no assumptions. Aloha in Hawaiian is not just a mere greeting; it means love AND understanding. Now that's a beautiful thing.