Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Stagnancy/Being Ordinary

Yes I know I should be sleeping. Especially since I"m going to attempt to get up for a 730 exercise class..but isn't that always when the mind wants to ponder. So I am doing a data entry temp job for the next three days and after 6 hours, I am very thankful I've saved enough that I haven't had to worry about doing this all summer because that was my limit. It was a beautiful, summer day, not too hot, and here I was shivering in a far too a/ced unit (have I mentioned I hate a/c!) wasting away my life typing in numbers for a study. Granted, the study is pretty interesting, but I'm learning fast, if I'm going to be involved in research it will only be the collaborating/doing part, not the evaluation/analysis part. Having been doing the evaluation part for my "internship" plus this data entry has been a bit too much, but only two more days. Real life is back in full swing and deciding to leave my new chapter of life for three weeks I think was a bit ambitious. Granted, it WILL be great to be in person at A.C.M.E. meetings, see friends, and go to my favorite place in the world the BWCA, but after having yet another awesome weekend with new friends and SO many happenings going on, not to mention new possibilities with this internship of becoming solfegge literate, this data entry full-time position, and trying to figure out housing (which may end up being a coop in the area I want to live in after all!) deciding to leave I can only hope will be fruitful and not stressful.

As far as my resolution is going, I feel like the above paragraph has detracted from it and I'm certainly at a point of stagnancy/shrinking back into my old grind. Any recommendations are warmly welcomed.     I need a new inspiration or person to challenge me or something. It's too easy to slip back into my comfort zone when I am not forced out. Which brings me to the feeling of ordinary. Words I think of to connote ordinary: boring, uninteresting, plain. Dictionary.com says: with no special features..normal. Now to me, these two definitions are very different. We all desire to be normal (at least societal norms do), but yet we all strive to be special. I feel like these two definitions contradict, no? But I digress..

Today was as ordinary a day as I ever want and even then I went to an Iftar feast (breaking of the Ramadan fast) which obviously was not ordinary in the slightest, but made the day (and my mood) more difficult, not completely fasting, but only eating a small amount of veggies at lunch. After watching American Beauty (you should too!), there's a girl in the movie that never wants to be ordinary and honestly, I agree. Granted, I don't think anyone wants to be ordinary, but so many people succumb to it. They don't have the ambition, the will, the "means" or rather the drive, to change or they're conditioned to think there is no other choice. But nevertheless I don't want part in the "real world," the 9-5, the job, the house, the bills. Some say I just haven't found that, but I have been out of school for two years. Sure, I"m not making big dough, but I am surviving. I know my twenties won't be my life, but I don't know if they'll change as much as they do for the "normal" (or ordinary) person because as I stated above I'm not her...and I still have 5 years!

On a different note entirely, Catholics please explain the decision of saving a baby over a mother!!!!!!!! But there are Catholic churches in town that embrace interfaith! There's a new wind coming on (a title of a song I wrote awhile back)

 Ok bedtime


  1. One of my favorite quotes:

    "Embrace your ordinariness" - Michael Yaconelli

  2. Your own definition of ordinary is subjective, and has judgment attached. The dictionary's version is completely objective: ordinary is what it is - without special features. Whether that's plain or boring is up to the observer ;)

    Everyone in American Beauty is far from ordinary, and yet it's a film about ordinary life in an American suburb. Many people say "nothing happens in that movie" ... but maybe they're too ordinary themselves ;) just kidding.

    I like to take the standpoint that we are all ordinary and unique at the same time. It's one of those transcendent truths you can't get your head around with words. Cop out? Maybe.